Your mate said it was big. Your ex said it was cute. Your mum said you were special. We say — get your size checked. The Duval–Saphyra Scorecard is open. Twelve points. One truth.

0 | 3

These silver satin heels were meant for my wedding, but after stepping in a muddy puddle and collecting mud on both heels, I swapped them for boots and carried on. One shoe carries a faint water line, both heels still show dried mud. I haven’t cleaned them, they are exactly as they were left. Listing coming soon!

0 | 5

Bored of basic dick ratings? So are we. Enter the Scorecard of Truth, where myself and Empress Saphyra break down your submission with clinical precision and zero mercy. We don’t just rate. We assess. We dissect. We judge. 😈😈 ✔️ Texture, tension, tone, testicles - nothing is safe. ✔️ You’ll get a full breakdown, a final score, and the cold sting of honesty. Apply if you dare. Or stay safe in the inbox of someone kinder.

0 | 4

It’s been so long, I’m starting to think they’ve gone extinct. 🦤 Haven’t seen one in person. Haven’t seen one online. Haven’t even had the misfortune of an unsolicited one. 🍆 At this point, I’d almost welcome a poorly lit disaster… 🧐 If you’re ready to break the drought, message me. For now, sweet dreams 💋

0 | 2

Who wants to see my filthy feet after I’ve been on them all day, massaging heads (not those kind, you insatiable creatures) at a Summer Solstice fair - in the blazing sun? They’re mucky. They’re swollen. They’ve got sexy stripes from my sandal straps. Fancy a close-up of the aftermath? 😍

0 | 7

My new toy just arrived! Can’t wait to play with this tomorrow…

0 | 3

It’s been a very long day on my feet and these socks need to go!

0 | 6